Solve The Identity Crisis of Motherhood - Lizzie Young

From little girls, our generation was raised to think we should grow up to be someone successful, make a lot of money, be Miss Independent, and, if someone can keep up with us, marry them. But then, marriage happens and this button called Submission gets pushed. Then, once you think you’ve got a handle on that, another gets pushed called Pregnancy! And with that, a whole bunch of body malfunctions, hormone changes, and you’re smacked with the reality of your life not being your own, anymore. Not that any of these buttons are bad, more like a shock to the system.

You feel like you’re tumbling down the rabbit hole of uncertainty in a sea of nappies, baby toys, and unnecessary gadgets; all the while, wondering where Miss Independent went and when she is coming back to rescue you.

At least, that’s my journey. I’ve got the husband, got the kids, but will I ever accomplish the things I always dreamed about, or is this it for me, now? Should I give up on the old dream, discover a new one, or am I living it, already?

If this is you, friend, let’s talk. I have learned a few key things along the way in this season that I call the Identity Crisis of Motherhood.

1. Find Your New Name

In Genesis 17:15 it talks about Abraham’s wife, whose name changed from Sarai, meaning princess, to Sarah, meaning Princess of a Multitude, or Mother to Many Nations. To me, this speaks of a girl becoming a woman, and not only that, becoming someone capable of things beyond her wildest dreams.

What is your name, and what does it speak about you?

2. Check Your Surroundings

Turn off the gossip channels – TV or otherwise – that are feeding your thoughts with lies of a better life. Even, yes ladies, Instagram can be a TERRIBLE thing for a young mum! Yes, it’s good for recording all the hundreds (thousands) of adorable moments your cutie pie is producing, but be careful of the people you choose to follow. Simple rule: if it’s uplifting, keep it; if it makes you question yourself, or makes you wish you had someone else’s life – RUN. Unfollow! Unfollow! Unfollow!

3. Embrace the Surrender

It’s natural to want to cling on tightly to anything that resembles normalcy, or a hint of what once was. I’m not saying we need to swim in a sea of baby blogs the rest of our lives, but what I am saying is that, sometimes, we need to get to the end of ourselves to truly embrace what God is doing in our lives.

Look around you, there is so much support, so many women going through the same thing! When I had bad days, I’d text a friend and we’d end up laughing about the fact my 2 year old daughter covered her baby sister in poo! Yet, if I didn’t let someone in on that moment I may have been a crumpled mess on the floor. (OK, maybe I was for a little while…It was poo!)

Enjoy the journey and embrace surrender. You’ll be missing the days sooner than you know.

So there it is, my tips on how to Solve The Identity Crisis of Motherhood. Above all else, know that you are loved, you are capable of more than you know, and considering who we get to do life with and the lives we are entrusted to raise, it is absolutely worth the beautiful surrender.

Lizzie Young
Lizzie Young is married to Blake and mother to Keilani, Zion and Shiloh. She lives in Gaborone, Botswana and is on team at Kingdomcity.