How The Holy Spirit Saved My Marriage - Gabby Anderson
If I told you that the last 46 days of quarantine with my husband has been pure bliss then I would probably be lying. Sure, spending more time together than ever before has been nice, but it has also been testing. We have no kids and we work together which means we are basically in each other's face 24/7. The last few weeks have tested my patience, my self control but it has mostly tested my relationship with God. I have found myself becoming easily irritated by the littlest of things and that very quickly turning into anger.
In James 1:19-20 it says “let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” A few days ago God reminded me of this verse and it made me wonder, have I been producing the righteousness of God? The verse goes on to say “So throw all spoiled virtue and cancerous evil in the garbage. In simple humility, let our gardener, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation-garden of your life.”
This is what marriage is all about, humility. Letting God into the marriage, and not trying to “fix” it ourselves. We need to let God landscape our innermost being with the Word!So here are some tips to surviving isolation with your Husband during isolation. Well not tips from me, but some tips from the Holy Spirit.
Galatians 5:22-34 “But the fruit produced by the Holy Spirit within you is divine love in all its varied expressions: joy that overflows, peace that subdues, Patience that endures, Kindness in action, a life full of virtue, faith that prevails, gentleness of heart, and strength of spirit.”
1. Joy that overflows
Sometimes I think we make life a bit too serious and we miss out on the joy of the Lord. The joy of the Lord has truly been OUR strength during this season as a married couple. Ask yourself this, what makes my husband joyful? And then do that! Be selfless in your thinking. Don’t forget to laugh a little, do something fun that you both enjoy, play a game. Whatever you need to do to bring back joy.
2. Peace that subdues
Okay, this has to be my favourite. Without the Holy Spirit producing fruit within me I know that I have a tendency to lean towards the anger side. I am so happy that when I am spending time with the Holy Spirit, a peace that subdues is produced within me. Peace has this amazing way of subduing even the harshest of fights. Just recently Troy and I had a pretty bad fight, one of the worst ever, and we were just about to lead worship. I remember having to make a conscious decision in that moment to get on with it and to not let temporary emotions stop me from worshiping God. It’s amazing how God’s presence works as after we worshiped there was a peace in our house which meant we were able to calmly talk to each other about what had happened. Never underestimate the power of God’s presence!
3. Patience that endures
This is when you can have a tolerance of each other without responding in anger; or self control when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties. I don’t know how long life is going to be the way it is right now, but what I do know is that I have access to a God that gives Patience that endures. So even in the strangest of storms God gives us endurance.
4. Kindness in action
When was the last time you did a random act of kindness for one another? Troy makes me a cup of tea every single morning without fail, and with me being an acts of service kind of girl, I feel so loved by this! This is more than just doing the dishes, washing and cooking. I know Troy loves to go for walks together, but I do not. So when I go beyond my selfish desires and go for a walk with him then this is kindness in action! The Holy Spirit will often nudge me and lead me to do what I think to be the most random of things, but it’s usually the Holy Spirit trying to help a sister out!
5. Faith that prevails
Or another translation puts it as “faithfulness”. Am I faithful to my husband in the way I talk about him behind his back? Or do I complain about all the things he has done wrong, to my friends? Ladies, the worst thing you could do to your marriage is try to sort it out with other people and not communicate to one another! Seek wise counsel if needed, but keep communication to each other high. Does it annoy me when I am constantly picking up clothes off of the floor? Sure! Does it make me upset when I am trying to say something important and he’s watching sport on his phone? Most certainly! Can I personally determine the way I respond in these situations? YES! God has given us access to this amazing fruit of the spirit and I want to be someone who walks in it!
6. Gentleness of heart
Now hear me when I say this, gentleness does not mean quiet and weak. Gentleness is when you can show humility and thankfulness towards God, as well as polite, restrained and compassionate behaviour towards everyone else. Don’t let your familiarity change the way you treat one another. You may be more comfortable around each other than you are with everyone else, but ensure you keep that gentleness in your marriage. Gentleness breeds peace and will bring you strength in this season as it will help you to remain calm and consistent across all types of situations.
The Holy Spirit is vital in keeping our marriages strong. Don’t leave God out, but instead involve him in every area of your life and watch as He develops a beautiful, strong and trusting relationship.
Written by Gabby Anderson
Gabby is married to Troy. They are both on Team at Kingdomcity in Perth.