Surrender - Tabatha Scholtz

When I was 12 years old, my family and I went on a trip to Europe in January. It was freezing cold but we all had a blast. Rome was our last stop before we flew home and I was starting grade seven in just two weeks. One night in our hotel room, I realised this; I was going to be in High School, and at the time I felt like I had to have it all figured out. I lay in our hotel room crying for an hour before waking up my mum. I told her that I wanted to go home tomorrow, because I wasn’t ready for high school and I needed to go home and prepare. Thankfully, my mom is very wise and told me to calm down and go back to sleep because I’d change my mind in the morning. She was right, as Mums always are.

The truth is, I’m a perfectionist, I always have been. I didn’t have a fear of high school itself, I had a fear of making so many decisions that would impact my future and I didn’t want to mess it up. So after balling my eyes out, I made a plan. I planned out exactly what I would study, where I would study, how long I would spend studying, I even had a plan B in case it all went pear shaped. I could not bear the thought of being even slightly unprepared. After this I calmed myself down, prayed that God would help me do it all and went to sleep. 

I’m now sixteen and I sit here giggling at how I really thought that my plan was the best plan. Over the past four years God has taught me what true surrender looks like. I still mess up and sometimes throw a tantrum when I don’t get my own way, but it’s a journey and I’m learning.

I know that many people have the same struggle as I did, feeling like everything has to be sorted, planned and figured out for the future and I really want to share with you what God has taught me in this area. I hope that you can experience the peace that fills your heart and mind when you know that God has it figured out.

Stressing about the future will not change anything, I wish I had the perfect tips on how to get through this season of uncertainty but truthfully, I don’t and I don’t think anyone does. It isn’t up to us to ‘figure out’ what God’s plan is for our lives, but rather to prepare ourselves for the calling that He reveals to us. He will reveal it to us in His good time. God is the only one that knows the future and so, the only one that can prepare us for it as well.

I’m not saying that we should never plan anything, planning of course is essential for anything to run smoothly. But I am saying that our plans must be surrendered to God, so that He can work through them. Our plans need to be centred around God so that we can glorify Him through them. Our plans need to be for His glory and not for our own. If you are stressing about the future just like I was, here are three things that God taught me on my journey.

1. Delight yourself in the Lord

It says in Psalm 37:4 – “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” There are many synonyms for delight; content, glee, joy, pleasure and satisfaction. When you replace delight with any of these words, isn’t it just so beautiful? We are able to find wholeness in God that this world can’t even begin to comprehend, let alone offer to us. I have grown up in a Christian family and so I have always been taught Psalm 37:4. Only recently I came to truly understand what it means. I was in cooking class and my friend and I were talking to our teacher. She told us that she would help us and give us what we asked for, because she knows that our intentions were to make sure the food turned out well. She reminded us of this verse and said, it’s like that with God. When we adore God we only want what is best for the kingdom, not just for ourselves. We want to do what will honour Him and bring Him glory. So as a result, our prayer requests carry His heart and His desire for His people, of course He says yes! She told us, I will only say no if I have seen it not work before, trust me I’ve seen many interesting things in this class… I’m experienced. It’s the same with God. He never says no, unless it is for our own good. So to sum this up, find your joy in God! Replace your dreams and desires with His, and take it to Him in prayer. The only reason our teacher knew that my friend and I had good intentions, was because we spent a whole year with her in class. Spend time with God, read the word, pray passionately, worship wholeheartedly, and ultimately, delight in His presence. Allow His desires to become yours for your future.

2. Surrender Your Dreams, and Take on His

It is so easy to believe that we know best; just like twelve year old me, lying in a hotel room in Rome planning out my life. It used to really bug me when God said no to my prayers. I was like “Okay God, whatever You say,” and it was because I just didn’t understand that God actually knows best. I had shaped surrender to be  something that was done under compulsion. I didn’t really have an option because God was going to ‘win’ either way. But, as I mentioned earlier God took me on a long, hard and painful journey. I was lonely, tired and burnt out, I couldn’t wrestle with God’s will, I honestly just didn’t have the energy to even try. It was in this time, of me trying to rebel, trying to make sure that everything went perfectly to my plan, that God began to whisper to my heart. “Tabatha, I do really love you, I promise I have this sorted out.” I remember feeling my tense and worried body relax and I began to weep as His peace filled my heart. I didn’t have to strive anymore and fight to make sure that everything went perfectly. He had planned my future out already God was so gracious to me and despite my strong desire to please myself, He taught me that surrender is a position of our hearts, where we trust Him. Surrender is impossible when you don’t trust God. If you don’t know and trust the hands that you are placing your life in, you won’t place it there. I came to understand that God does actually love me, He does actually have plans to prosper me and not to harm me, He did actually knit me together in my mother’s womb, I am actually his child and His prized possession. It’s the same for you, God does actually love you, He does actually have plans to prosper you and not to harm you, He did actually knit you together in your mother’s womb, you are actually his child and His prized possession. His plans for your future far exceed any plans that you have for yourself, surrender it to Him.

3. Trust and Wait

This is so hard. So, so, so hard. It’s confusing, it can feel long and underwhelming. Kind of like standing in the post office queue around Christmas time. You can stand there for an hour, nobody talks or laughs, there’s a grumpy lady at the front and a baby might be screaming. It’s a long and tiring wait. But in this time, perhaps you’re at school wondering what to study or what to do with your degree to glorify God, trust Him, and ask Him. Don’t be afraid to dream, take your dreams to God and ask Him what you should do about it! I do that so often, write them in my journal, pray that God would guide me, plan it a bit and ask God that if it is His will, one day He would provide the opportunity for me to make it a reality, so that I can bring glory to His name. I want to encourage you, by trust and wait, I don’t mean sit and pray all day, every day until something happens. Seek opportunities and pray about them, go to the university open days, find what you’re passionate about, find what you want to change. Then take it to the Lord in prayer. But don’t feel as though you have to figure everything out, it is already figured out. Trust God and walk where He makes a path for you. Psalm 27:14 “Here’s what I’ve learned through it all: Don’t give up; don’t be impatient; be entwined as one with the Lord. Be brave and courageous and never lose hope. Yes, keep on waiting – for He will never disappoint you!”

If you are stressing about the future and worrying that you don’t have it all together, I pray that these three things help you to return to the feet of our loving Father. Be courageous and try new things, allow God to shape the path for you. Remember, you don’t have to figure it out, God has done that already. 

Best wishes, Tabatha