When Healing Does Not Come? - Joy Stevens

I was born and raised in Malaysia until I was 17 years old. Being born in a Christian family and raised in a Christian home you know when hard times come around, you need to continue to have faith and keep on praying. But when you are in a storm and nothing seems possible, praying and having faith feels like the hardest thing to do, I am sure you can relate. To believe for a miracle when you have been praying for years, seeing and hearing miracles, but still feeling as though there has not been a change in your situation… I understand.

In the year that I turned 16, a few major things happened in my life. My grandmother, who was my best friend, passed away. My parents’ marriage was on the rocks and also, I was diagnosed with Psoriasis. You might be wondering; what is Psoriasis? It is an incurable, long-term (chronic) inflammatory skin condition that affects the immune system.

In the first week that I was diagnosed, I began to lose my hair. I remember it looked as though I had really bad dandruff all over my scalp and body which was tough because it was not exactly something that you could hide. It was out in the open for everyone to see and I was ashamed. I did not understand why God would let this happen to me? Up until this point, my whole life was centred around the church, Jesus, salvation and healing. I did love God and somehow, I knew that there is healing for me but I had so many questions.

After having it for a year I decided I had enough and wanted to end my life… I was hurt. I was disappointed and I was angry. I would cry myself to sleep almost every night. On the night that I was just going to give up and felt like I just wanted it all to end, I fell asleep crying and something happened... I saw God in my dreams! For the first time in my life I heard His audible voice. I remember the dream so clearly as if it happened yesterday. I was in a train station, and everything was so dark. I could see some people were going to board a train but I knew that I was going to jump in front of the train. Then God spoke to me. I knew it was Him. With a soft and loving yet powerful voice, He said “Be still Joy and know that I am your Father.” Suddenly, everything stopped. The train came to a halting stop and there was this really bright light that picked me up. The light broke through the train station and I immediately woke up with a tremendous feeling of peace. I woke up feeling that whatever this disease is, it has no hold on me. It was not going to be part of my life. It was something that I was going to fight. In my moment of desperation, hurt, disappointment and anger God came to save me.

It has been about seven years of living with Psoriasis and to be honest, there are still tough days and hard moments. Days when I believe the lies that I hear. Even though every day is still a battle, it has become easier to fight because I have continued to declare God’s word and healing over my life. I am not ashamed anymore! When people ask me, I now have the opportunity to tell them that it is a journey of healing and that I will see my mountain moved.

This journey has made me strong. This journey has taught me to be still and know that He is my God. (Psalm 46:10)

Sometimes when we pray for things, we want it to happen straight away and when it doesn’t, we get upset, disappointed and move away from God. We stop believing for our breakthrough… but it is not faith if it is only for a moment. My bible says that ‘Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not yet seen.’ (Hebrews 11:1)

I believe that I am going to be healed, completely healed, not in my time - but in His. So, may I encourage you today to have faith, declare His word and never give up. This journey will make you stronger!

Written by Joy Stevens

Joy is married to Joshua. She lives in Perth and is on team at Kingdomcity.