Thriving Through Singlehood - Amy Clark

Times and seasons determine how we live our lives. We plan our calendars with passion, making appointments and scheduling holidays. We block out minutes, hours, or even weeks for people and purposes. I know that personally, I have to put everything into my calendar and plan ahead, so that I know where I am going and can get the best out of the time I have.

If we understand the purpose of timing and seasons in our schedules and calendars, surely, we can apply this to singlehood and marriage.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NIV) says, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens...”

The author, Solomon, then goes on to say that there is a time to sow and to reap, to be born and to die, to tear down and to build... His point in the end is that everything is planned ahead of time by God for us to walk in, so why fret over what we cannot control? He concludes by telling us to be content in every season and enjoy life.

My question to you is, are you content as a single woman? Of course, we can dream and pray into the marriage we so desire, but are you making the most out of this season of singleness?

As a single woman myself, I have heard many people call this season a time of waiting. I even hear, “Oh, I’m just waiting for my Boaz!” (in reference to Ruth in the bible). But what I have seen is that so many women get caught up in the wrong interpretation of waiting.

“Here’s what I’ve learned through it all: Don’t give up; don’t be impatient; be entwined as one with the Lord. Be brave and courageous, and never lose hope. Yes, keep on waiting—for He will never disappoint you!” Psalm 27:14 (TPT)

The true meaning of “wait” is not passive, but is a posture of intentional faith that propels us forward. Ruth left her home in the pursuit of God, not knowing if she would ever marry again. She did not have the hindsight we have of “a Boaz just around the corner”. Her full intention in her choices was just to follow God wholeheartedly and trust Him with her life.

There have been moments when I have thought that life and ministry would be so much easier under the covering and protection of the covenant of marriage. And of course, there have been times when all I want is a hug, or someone to share the small moments with, or even a text during the day just to say hi. Although these feelings are real, so is my God. He not only comforts me and is with me, but He has also written an amazing story for me, complete with perfectly timed seasons that are personalized for my journey.

I see my time as a single woman as a time of purpose. It is not just a time to prepare for marriage, though this is a very important part of it – It is a time to throw myself into the plans God has for me, to make myself available to go wherever He calls me, and to build my relationship with Him.

Living as a single woman in Cambodia and working in ministry was not always easy, but what my singlehood allowed me to do was to give all of myself to God and to the people I was called to reach. I could not have given myself to the extent I did if I was married or had kids. Even as I come back to Perth and continue to serve in ministry, the purpose of this season is to be always ALL IN.

I encourage you as a single woman to not get stuck in disappointment, or stuck in the thought that your purpose has not begun until you are married, because that is not true. You were born with purpose, and that does not change depending on your marital status.

In the right season, God will allow your path to clash with that awesome Godly man, the one who is running in the same direction as you, and the one that will add to your purpose as you come together as one, not take away from it.

In the meantime, here are a few helpful tips to help you in your season of singlehood:

Spend time with God - God is working, even if you cannot see it or feel it. Pray to Him, study your bible, and keep Him number one in your life. He will give you direction, comfort and wisdom as you wait on Him.
Hang out with good friends - get a group of faith-filled women around you who will build you up and who you can do life with.
Seek discipleship - look for people who can help you grow, and accept their guidance. They may be your connect leaders, pastors, or Godly parents.
Serve - the best way to make the most of your time is to give your gifts to others. Serve in church and help others in whatever way God has called you to.

To all the single ladies out there, let us make a commitment to thrive in this season with purpose and intentionality. Let us enjoy life, have fun with friends, and give all of ourselves to the call of God on our lives. And most importantly, let us not settle for anything less than God’s best.

Follow @amyl_clark

Amy Clark is one of our beautiful ladies living in Perth and is on the Kingdomcity Team.