5 Ways to Redefine Yourself - Renuka George

How does a woman define herself in the world we live in today? Do you blend in or stand out? Must you seek trends or set them? Are you popular enough? The right personality type? The right size? Is your life a carefully curated set of events coming through all the right filters?  

If we were taking our cues from the world around us, we’d be as conflicted as we would be miserable. But there’s good news. We were never meant to be defined by what surrounds us but by Who lives in us. Navigating distorted beliefs and cultivating a root system that is firmly anchored in purpose and destiny that God so intentionally and passionately mapped out for us is the only way we finish the race... our race. These are just a few ways we can stop partnering with superficial ideologies and start showing up as the women God fashioned us to be.   

Character over Confidence 

Do you find that in most contexts, be it as a parent, as a professional or even in relationships, there’s an expectation to be sure of what to do and how to react and ‘always have it together’? And a shortcoming in this area is unforgivingly deemed as a weakness? But God doesn't shape and mature our confidence, He shapes and matures our character. He’s more interested in how we build ourselves than how we present ourselves. While confidence is extrinsic in nature and ever changing in its definition, godly character is a beautifully robust gift that grows with every encounter and experience you have in His presence and through doing life with Him, and out of that flows the confidence to be Kingdom influencers in whatever we’re called to do (Psalm 46:5).   

Selfless over Selfies 

Not that selfies are bad, cute hair totally deserves a post or two, right? But I mean more the need to be seen, heard and noticed above everyone else, and worse, the need to be better than anyone else. As women, we often go years before learning that our biggest weapon in a world that promotes the ‘self’ in an intentional media-frenzied plot to isolate women, is our sisterhood. We weren’t designed to see each other as opponents in competition and as long as we are party to that mindset, as covert as it may be, it will hinder our ability to have any real impact in the world around us. As mums, sisters and women we have a responsibility to cultivate and pass on honor especially towards other women. Imagine if we all turned into Ruths and Naomis and put each other first? We’d be a collective force to reckon with. 

Freedom over Fear 

A common misconception about fear is that it’s loud, evident and debilitating (like my fear of lizards are all of those things). But this is often so far from the truth because fear is so commonly found in the quiet fringe of ambition or in the moments between the conception and the birth of a dream and so we just learn to live with it. An unwelcome but familiar voice that’s taken permanent residence but it needs to be silenced, and sometimes repeatedly, with the double-edged sword of truth. Be it the fear of rejection, the fear of failure or the fear of hurt, it’s important to remember that while fear is an attribute, freedom is a person. In the moments that fear takes on a voice and dictates your destiny are the very moments in which the Spirit of God can speak freedom loudly and irreversibly. Not being given the spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind (2 Tim 1:7) isn’t just a concept it’s an eternal truth that existed before us and before fear itself and it holds the power to completely dismantle every scheme of the enemy. 

Purification over perfection 

In a notice-me society, perfection is king. Perfection equals flawless facades completely void of vulnerability and it’s managed to make its way into people’s minds as the optimum way of life. Perfect skin, perfect hair, perfect job, perfect chocolate-chip cookie (ok those are allowed to be a thing!) perfect possessions and the list is endless, but I can’t think of a more exhausting way of living out this life! In order to be everything God has called us to be (which is a lot of amazing things if you really think about it), we must trade the insatiable need for perfection with the edifying process of purity (Phil 4:8). As a mum I care most about purity in my kids; in their thoughts, their desires and in their lifestyles and yet somehow, we continue to subscribe to this idea that perfection is something to be attained at all costs. Imagine instead if we pursued holiness and right standing before God and before man... imagine what that would do for a world so in need of a way out? 

Fruit over Fantasy 

The fruit of the spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) ...the fruit implies a tangible recognition of the work of the cross in you. It implies that people around you would be influenced and changed by that work. The yielded-ness, submission and refining we’d have to go through to acquire the fruit of the spirit would completely transform our lives, our relationships and our direction. So, let’s not sell ourselves short over fantasy, allowing fiction and frivolity to dictate who we are and what we’re capable of. God has called us to be steady and strong, bearing good fruit that can nourish anyone in our care.  

As daughters of the Most High, we can’t lose sight nor underestimate the weight of our design and we are most blessed when we believe the Lord will fulfil His promises to us (Luke 1:45).  

Written by Renuka George 

Renuka is married to Sparkie and they have two children. She is on team at Kingdomcity in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.