It's Okay to Be You - Sally Gibbs
All of us have these moments where we compare. We look at ourselves: our flaws, our insecurities and our weaknesses - then we look to others: to their strengths, their victories and we compare. We compare our weaknesses to others strengths, forgetting that we have amazing strengths of our own.
What I’ve noticed is that when we allow ourselves to live this way, it can cause us to be unhappy, lose confidence and allow that unique spark within us to diminish. God has created us all differently, all with different talents, different levels of gifting, special traits and quirks that make us who we are. We all have flaws and failings, but that is a part of the beauty of who He has created us to be!
For many years I was frustrated with myself because I compared what I was with others, and thought that there was something wrong with me. My personality is that of someone who is quiet and fairly reserved. I’m someone who would rather listen than speak. I’m a deep thinker and the type of person who would rather stay at home in my pyjamas, than be at a party. That’s just me, that’s how I’m naturally wired, and that’s okay.
However I would look at others, the ones who are the life of every party, who are social butterflies and love to be out and about all the time. I would see them and wonder how they did it, how they were like that and thought maybe I was meant to be like that too. I would put pressure on myself, and loathe myself when I couldn’t be that.
What I’ve come to realise now as I’ve grown up, is that I am who I am. I am that for a reason. I have amazing strengths that others don’t have, and I’ve also got some things that I could change. But I’m content with who God has made me to be. I don’t need to please others, or have unnecessary pressure on myself to be someone I’m not. It’s okay to be me, the me God created in His image.
So for all of us out there that have those moments - I want to encourage you to embrace your flaws, your quirks, your failings, your strengths and your giftings - learn the beauty of being content and grateful to God for who you uniquely are.
Here are a few ways we can learn to embrace the amazing young women that we are:
Know firstly what God says about you!
God loves us so much! He has so much to say about who we are, how He’s made us, and the freedom, victory, boldness, confidence we can have in Him. Can I encourage you to seek out from The Bible what God first says about who you are? That is your starting place, your foundation on which everything else is built. Know the promises of God, know what He thinks and says about you. Start from there. Highlight them in your Bible, write them on your mirror, print out verses and stick them around your room, cover your school books in them, put reminders in your phone and even change your phone wallpaper. Surround yourself with what He says about you, so that it gets into you. Once you have this foundation, then no comparison, nasty words or self-doubt can rob you any longer! You are first God’s child, beautifully and wonderfully made, just how He wanted you to be. Knowing these things will also allow you to remain confident even in the midst of failures, mistakes and disappointments.
Do a personality test! (This is the fun part)
Sometimes we are frustrated with ourselves because we don’t understand ourselves, and think we might be the only ones. However, there are others out there similar to you! You’re not alone.
I love personality tests, they help me to see my strengths and positive attributes, as well as allow me to laugh at my weaknesses and know that ‘it’s okay.” They summarise it so well, and it can often be freeing having it highlighted to you, and being like “oh yeah, that’s so true about me” but that it’s okay. Because every personality type has its good and bad parts.
These are two of my favourites to do.
16 Personalities - 16personalities.com/free-personality-test
Enneagram test - Many different ones online, just type ‘enneagram’ into google
They’re quite in-depth and reveal what you can be like in relationships, friendships, social settings, in the workplace and so on. It might not be 100% but it can be quite informative. It helps you to understand yourself, and even understand others around you! Have a bit of fun and do one of these, I think it’ll help you to embrace you, to love your strengths and highlight weaknesses that you can work on.
Learn to know what gives you energy, and what takes your energy!
This is an important life lesson, and will help you on your journey of embracing yourself. Think about it - what gives you energy? Perhaps it’s going for a walk in nature, being inspired by reading a good book, a creative outlet, perhaps it’s chatting with friends and being around people. Know what gives you motivation, strength and energy, and make it part of your regular life! Often we feel tired, down or drained, and don’t know how to lift ourselves back up. If you know what gives you energy and your spark back, then you know what to do in those times you’re feeling depleted.
But it’s also important to know what takes our energy. Maybe it’s hours of Netflix (you think it’s going to relax you but actually it makes you more tired), perhaps it’s constantly being on your phone, or being around too many people for too long. Maybe it’s keeping things to yourself and not allowing others to help you. There are a number of things that can take your energy, and leave you feeling low. Find out what it is, so that you can monitor yourself better and keep yourself at your fullest!
Try these things out and see how you go, I’m sure they will help you to realise the beauty of who you are, and the goodness of God. At the end of the day, you are amazing and it’s okay to be you!
Written by Sally Gibbs
Sally is married to Jonothan, she is on team at Kingdomcity in Perth, Australia.