Putting God First - Nicole Blegenhout

I never seem to have enough time in the day. Enough time to be all the things I want to be and do all the things I want to do. I want to be a good wife, a good mother, a good leader, a good friend and the list goes on. I want to execute all of my roles well, but I’m exhausted a lot of the time and I just don’t know how to juggle it all. While I don’t enjoy admitting this, because I know too many people who are so much busier than I am, nevertheless, the truth of the matter for me is that I’ve struggled with time management for most of my life. And it’s only after some years now that I’ve come to the conclusion that the root of my struggle has not actually been in time management but rather in prioritising.

As I’ve further explored this with God, I’ve realised that I actually don’t know how to prioritise. How do I begin to establish priorities when I believe that all areas (family, church, friends, career, exercise, hobbies etc) are all important to Him (and to me)? So how then do I differentiate between very important and less important? Is there a one-size fits all? Does it differ from person to person?

I am currently in the process of navigating these questions. However, God has said something to me a little while ago that’s been an absolute game-changer. One night while I was praying, most likely feeling desperate for help and wisdom on this, I heard Him clearly say to me “What If you didn’t have any free will? What if I took it all away and you had to do whatever I decide for you? If I have FULL CONTROL, what would your to-do list look like then?” No free will? What? I mean okay, it shouldn’t bother me that much, right? Following God is the foundation of my life anyway, so why would I be so shaken at the idea of my power to choose getting taken away from me? What would He have me focus on? What would He have me give more of my energy to? How would the One who knows all the purposes for which He created me have me spend my days? When I began asking these questions God began to reveal plenty of sinful tendencies buried inside me that have just gone unchecked. Therefore, this one thing I know, if God became the sole decision maker of my life there would be no room or stage (in private or in public) for my self-centeredness, pride, insecurities, selfishness, laziness, lack of faith or finding my worth in all the wrong places.

This gift of free will is no small thing. The sum of our lives will almost be a picture of how we’ve exercised this freedom to choose. Surely then, if the choices we make are so significant we need to include/involve Jesus in them right? Do we pray before choosing toppings for our pizza? Haha, maybe we should… Either way we all know God cares about the details, even when certain details have not changed for years, His eyes are still on them. There are too many choices for the everyday life stuff that I’ve been making over and over again without even checking in with God eg. what time to go to bed at night or what time to wake up in the morning. I’ve been doing a whole lot of assuming and not enough asking. Sometimes, we continue to make the same choices as if we’re on autopilot. Even for those choices where we are so sure that the mandate for them came from Him. For example, I could probably walk into any restaurant and confidently order for my husband and be right 90% of the time because it would be based on years of getting to know his likes and dislikes. (We do this with God too) But what of the odd occasion when He might want to try something new? Should we pause and check sometimes? We might just be surprised. 

God surprised me 8 years ago on one of my trips back home to South Africa. Whenever I’d go back home for holidays my days would be full with hikes, beach visits, church events and catching up with friends and family. Basically doing things that I thought would make Jesus happy. While I’m sure it did, my perspective shifted when on one of my trips I visited a friend’s church and at the end of the service the guest speaker said that she was going to prophesy over every single person who was in the room that night, if they wanted it. There were a lot of people in the room so it was a LONG wait for me! And I must be honest, my expectations weren’t high since it had run into the early hours of the morning (everyone was tired) and I was one of the last to see her. Anyway, I will never forget the words she said to me, “God is jealous for your time. You are making time for all the things and people you think He wants you to but not for HIM. He wants alone time with you, your undivided attention”. I mean there I was in church, in His house, having just spent my Saturday night worshipping Him and He’s still saying this to me? The tears came as I knew that word could not have been more accurate. Instantly I saw God looking at my life, at the many things I had going on with the intention to glorify Him and He’s just watching like “But what about ME? Where’s my quality time?” If I think about it now, my husband and I live in the same house, see each other’s faces everyday, talk all the time but man oh man there is nothing like a good date night. No distractions, just the two of us. The point is deep down I know what God values most - Me. 

When God brought this word back to my remembrance I knew why and what He was trying to tell me through it. He was giving me the first rank on my priority list - Him. He who desires to be with ME before anything or anyone else, it would make sense then that He would want me to desire being with HIM just as much. 

When was the last time you heard someone say “No” to an invitation or a meeting because it clashed with time that they had scheduled/reserved to spend with God? Is that so crazy? That's my goal. Not blocking my calendar or becoming legalistic about it but rather to examine my heart and my intentions in prioritizing intimacy with Him. This means that I now try to purposely set that time aside where I silence any distractions and noise around me so that my undivided attention is on Him. And while the 10 minutes over breakfast or the 15 minutes before I go to sleep is certainly valuable to Him and not at all wasted, I’m more referring to a gesture to let Him know that our relationship with Him is more important to us than what we are called to do for Him. God, the person, being our highest priority.

I also just want to remember that absolutely everything is a choice! And that when I’m choosing something it means I am not choosing something else. And while considering what my priorities would look like if I no longer had the power to choose, it becomes so clear to me that the One who loved me so much that He died for me, is more interested in ME than anything else I’m filling my days with as an offering to Him. 

Bill Johnson once said that when we “Seek ye first the kingdom of God” it will be a natural by-product that “all these things will be added to us” because ‘all these things’ are found there - in His Kingdom! So, when we seek Him and find Him, we receive all we need because He holds everything we could ever need to execute our roles well. Perhaps the more I prioritise Him the easier tackling everything else will become.

Lastly, I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on what life in the Garden of Eden might have looked like. What Adam and Eve’s lives may have looked like? God in the flesh dwelling with man. What do you think God’s original design for how we are to spend our days with Him would have looked like? While I know God created Adam and Eve ‘in His own image’ to ‘work the land and take care of it’ (Sonship and Stewardship, both significant areas in our lives as Christians) I also believe that God created them for His own PLEASURE (something I understand now as a parent myself) but also and perhaps the most important of the lot, He created them to be in FELLOWSHIP and relationship with Him. 

At the end of my life I hope that it will not only be marked by how much God loved me but also by how much I loved Him. And hopefully I will always frame my roles and priorities in light of the love language of the One whose ‘love tank’ matters the most to me.

“One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek, that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life and to gaze upon the Lord and to seek Him in His temple” – Psalm 27:4

Written By Nicole Blegenhout

Nicole is married to Denzil and they have two sons, they attend Kingdomcity in Dubai.