Take Back Your Table - Ruth Chant

It may have been part of your upbringing, or maybe it wasn’t. Either way, you probably didn’t think much of it, but this small window of time, that most of us have each day, can be incredibly powerful in the time of family you nurture and the type of family you build.

I’m talking about mealtimes. Yes, those times of the day we eat - either for necessity or pleasure, can either be a chore or an opportunity. We are all busy and time-poor trying to get food on the table. But do you realise the amazing opportunity mealtimes can offer our families; to talk, teach and train our children.

There is great power and purpose in bringing our kids back to the table at mealtimes to connect!

Did you know, the research into mealtimes at the dinner table shows just how important this time is for both younger and older children.

For school-age children, regular mealtime is an even more powerful predictor of high achievement scores than time spent in school, doing homework, playing sports or doing art.

Studies have shown that teenagers who regularly eat dinner with their families are less likely to engage in illicit behaviour involving drugs and alcohol and more likely to get better grades and be mentally and physically healthy.
Other researchers reported a consistent association between family dinner frequency and teen academic performance.
Adolescents who ate family meals five to seven times a week were twice as likely to get A’s in school as those who ate dinner with their families fewer than two times a week.

It is time to take back your table!

I believe it is one of the most important weapons we have to fight for our families. As a family, we have had thousands of meals together. Thousands of meals we have to prepare but also thousands of opportunities to talk, train and teach our children.

Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6 (KJV)

Jesus did this so beautifully over meals. He talked, trained and taught his disciples around the table. The Bible talks about praying morning, noon and night. (Psalm 55:17) When do we eat? Three times a day, which is potentially three opportunities to come together in prayer and in the presence of God.

TALK

At our mealtimes, I love to use this as an opportunity to talk about the day but also about current events. This time is an excellent opportunity to shape a Biblical worldview. We need to use this time to see what our children are thinking. How are their worldviews being shaped and influenced? What are the deeper questions they may have? Do we shy away from them or do we take the time to talk them through?

A wonderful example was the last Federal Election here in Australia. It certainly provided some excellent conversation. Some thought-provoking questions were discussed.

Can you be Christian and be gay?

What parties protect religious freedom? Which don’t?
Why is abortion wrong and why would someone have an abortion?
Is it ok for someone to change from a boy to a girl?
What does it mean with people say “I am offended”? let’s discuss...
How do you deal with offence what does the Bible say?

We need to know that our silence trains our children’s worldview as much as our talking!

When we stay silent and don’t teach the Biblical way, our children will take on the way of culture because that may be the loudest voice in their world. We need to talk through things children see in the media, things that happen in their lives and we need to get our children accustomed to going back to the Bible for perspective.

Is what you are saying true and in line with God’s word?

Is that view expressed Biblically? Why, why not?
Can you give me a scripture from the Bible to support this?

In a world where opinion is elevated higher than God’s truth, we need to teach our children that the TRUTH will always outweigh your opinion.

TEACH

The most important thing to teach our children is to tend to their hearts.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)

Every future decision will depend on the condition of your heart and tending to it. How your child views the world and themselves comes down to what he or she thinks. We need to bring our children back to what God says about them, so this can fill their thoughts.

“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7 (NKJV)

The Bible is very clear that if you don’t forgive then the Father can’t forgive you. Unforgiveness will have a flow-on effect to the rest of your life. I think of the time I have wasted in unforgiveness... It binds your heart. Let’s teach our kids to forgive quickly and to live free from offence.

“But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.” Matthew 6:15 (NIV)

TRAIN

Coming to our mealtimes together provides an opportunity to train in so many things; how to lay the table, how to use cutlery properly, how to have table manners. But more than that, there are some excellent opportunities at mealtimes to train them in spiritual matters.

This year we have started to take communion when we have breakfast together. Communion is not just something we do at church. Communion is a powerful reminder of what Jesus has done on our behalf. His body was broken so we can be healed. His blood was shed so we have access to the Father and so we can be in right standing with Him. Why should you lead your family in communion?

Train our children to walk in forgiveness daily and tend to their heart

Train and teach our children about the precious blood of Jesus for our sins
Train them in recognising His broken body for our healing
Actively demonstrate asking for forgiveness
Demonstrate how to pray
Demonstrate how to ask for forgiveness and receive forgiveness
Train them on how to access the power of God for what you face each day!

It is important that this is done with reverence and not just out of duty. I believe we need to do this with sincerity and from a place of humility. We need to show our complete dependence on the Lord as we do this. Mealtime may also be a time where you need to ask for forgiveness from your children for how you behaved or spoke.

In these days it is imperative to teach our kids to listen to the Holy Spirit. How does He speak to us? We need to teach our kids to ask the Holy Spirit. Speaking in tongues and helping our kids to do this can be done at the breakfast or dinner table. I encourage you to demonstrate how to speak in tongues and pray for the gift of tongues for your family.

Now in saying all of this, I know how hard it can be to get everyone in one room, let alone around the table…

PRACTICAL POINTERS FOR BRINGING EVERYONE TO THE TABLE

To get dinner on the table takes work and planning. Knowing that each family member has to play their part will help in taking the stress out of mealtime.

My kids have ONE set of jobs and it does not change. I have never been one to keep up with chore charts. ONE job fixes this. Each child knows what to do and that helps to avoid any potential struggles or miscommunication.

They are responsible for their jobs and whenever it needs to be done. For example, my eldest unloads, loads the dishwasher and keeps the sink clean. My second oldest loves to design so she lays the table for each meal with her creative touch, sweeps the floor and puts things away.

My QUICK TIPS:

After each meal, we lay it ready for the next meal.
Set up a “Communion Tray” with little glasses and crackers broken for the week
Rather than use your phone or tablet, have a set of Bibles in a box ready to get out and use during talks or devotions

FINAL WORD

Don’t allow guilt to settle on having to “do” all of this. If you can’t get to the table for dinner then make it a special hot chocolate and snack moment. The point is to connect with your family at the table to develop a culture in our homes that make the most of the talking, teaching and training our families.