7 Signs He Is the One - Jemima Varughese
I often get asked in young adult settings the question: “How do you know if a guy you are interested in is the one?”. My reply is always the same: there is no ‘One’, however I believe there is ‘The Best”. There are probably 5-10 great guys you could marry and that you could live a wonderful life with - for when you marry, they then become the one. There is no turning back, that’s the one and you begin the journey of being together for the rest of your lives ‘til death do you part!
I do believe there is the best. The one that will bring out the best in you.
I know in my own life I have had opportunities to marry several great guys and I’m sure I would have lived a good Godly life. But there was only one Mark, who was the best, who brought out the best in me and I am forever grateful the Lord gave me the grace to wait for him for 31 years.
So how do you know if the one you like or the one you are dating is the best for you? Here is my seven point checklist that I implemented in my own life. I pray it will encourage you in your quest for the best.
Peace - You must have peace. I remember going out on a date once with a nice pastor and only having 60% peace… not 100%... it was that 40% of unrest that saved me!
Pray God protects your heart - I would always pray “God protect my heart” because I could not trust myself with my own heart! One time I prayed that after meeting a great prospective and saying “Lord if he is not the one, may I never see him again.” The very next day he got a job transfer across the country. Thank you Jesus he protected my heart!
Same Spiritual DNA - It is so important that the guy shares the same core values as you when it comes to the things of God. So many times couples do not talk about this beforehand and after marriage unnecessary fights occur as deep down they have a different DNA to the things of God. Ask him his thoughts on all core things you believe in: tithing, serving in the house of God, the Holy Spirit, and see if they match up with yours.
Get advice – Go to people you trust: pastors, connect leaders, Godly parents and ask them what they think. Most of the time if it’s God, they too will have peace.
Confirmation – Ask the Lord for a confirmation in His word in your daily devotions. God always speaks when we give him the time, soak up the word and ask Him to confirm this is of Him.
Chemistry – Do you have chemistry with him? Some girls have said to me “God has told me I must marry this guy but I do not like him”. I’m not sure God works that way. If God has handpicked the best for you, then you most likely will have chemistry with that person.
Wait – Some girls have given God a bad name by going straight to the guy and saying “God told me I am to marry you!”….I personally have not heard one good story from this. Usually there is an awkward look from the guy and I have heard some reply “Ok well when God lets me know I’ll call you..”. In my story, the Lord spoke to me way before he spoke to my husband however I did not go there until my husband brought the subject up, then I felt the promptings of the Holy Spirit to speak. If he is the best for you, God will speak, just wait….there is character building in the ‘wait’.
I pray this encourages you. Remember daughter, You are complete in Christ! No man can fill the need to be complete. Marriage won’t change that. So if you’re lonely right now, in the wait right now, or confused and at a crossroad, may the Lord give you clarity and peace, for you deserve the best - you are the daughter of the most high King.
Written by Jemima Varughese
Jemima is married to Mark and leads Kingdomcity Communications Ltd. They have two sons, Zeke and Caleb.